I am back with part two of the clarity series, and today we are gonna talk  about my stop light system to help you plan your day and keep you out of overwhelm. So if you feel like, your day has just so much ish going on, that you can’t even begin to focus on what you want. I want you to grab your earbuds in a pen because I am about to go in.

What’s up. This is your girl Charmaine and welcome to today’s episode of The Charmed Life. On this channel I aim to support entrepreneurial moms of color that have kids with quirks to help them to create the time, energy and focus they desire to have in their life so they can boss it out. Now, if this sounds like your jam and a place you want to hang out with on these YouTube streets, I want you to subscribe to this channel, click the little notification bell so that YouTube can let you know when a new video drops and share this with a sister friend who, you know, could use this.

If you haven’t caught the first video, I want to implore you somewhere in this little box, here, there is going to be a space where you can go watch that video. I want you to watch that first because it’s really going to be able to help you to put the pieces in context for this one. If you have already  caught the first video, then by all means, let’s get that notebook and let’s get into it. Now, I’m just gonna give you a little recap. Last video, we talked about life areas, family, business and  money, those three major life areas and setting new intentions, goals, resolutions, girl, whatever you wanna call ’em in those life areas. And we just set a baseline for that. 

Why Your Current System Can’t Keep You Out of Overwhelm

So here’s a question for you on average, how does your day feel like with the amount of things that you feel like you have to do on average? How is your day feeling if it feels overwhelming, which I do believe that most of you are probably saying if it’s feeling overwhelming, because you feel like you are constantly putting out fires and is always something new coming up, then I got you. I want you to sit in this video because in this one, I’m gonna break down how you can begin to tell the non-essential ish from the ish that really needs to get done and leaving that space in your life so that you can flow. So I always start off with a litle story. Like many of you, my day used to be packed

I would use my planner and I would have an idea of what I needed to do, but I was never able really to block the time because I felt like my life was so out of control that even if I blocked time for something that it wouldn’t get done at that time. I always felt like I was at the mercy of something external. I always felt like, my life was kind of like one emergency away from me, melting down, not my kids melting down, but from me melting down. And it was a very stressful place to be because I, had all these goals and I wanted, to serve the world and I wanted to reach other moms, but I didn’t feel like I had the time to do the things I needed to do.

The System to Keep You Out of Overwhelm

My day started off as  a to-do list,  of all the ish that I could just regurgitate out of my head that I could think of that needed to be done on that day. That was my, that was my daily action plan. Back then, it was just me regurgitating, you know, wash clothes, cook dinner, go to the grocery store. Then the list grew because as I begin to engage in one activity, I would discover in that activity that there was something else that needed to be done. So then I would splinter off and do that because that needed to be done in order for me to finish this. And so I just ended up kind of like a pinball machine, just kind of pinging everywhere yet being nowhere, getting nothing done. You know, I got a lot of things checked off of my to do list, but I was exhausted at the end of the day. My life didn’t feel good. 

This is a system that, I initially created for my self and then I begin using it with my clients, it allows you to see what’s really important and what really ain’t that important.

So let’s get of this stoplight system.

So it, it is what it is. Right? Think of stoplight red, yellow, green.

Green Light – The Stuff You Don’t Need to Do

So let’s start with green. Green are things that honestly don’t need to probably be done by you.

What are some things that you feel like there, it would be really nice to do, but it’s not really an urgent thing to do.

Like if you didn’t do it today, then would nothing fall apart, like researching the next vacation. If you don’t research the vacation  today because you don’t plan on taking the vacation until June, life isn’t necessarily gonna fall apart. You’ve got a little bit of time, especially if it’s January.  You’ve got a little bit of time to break it up into steps and do a little part each day. I believe that everything we put on our list has the capacity to be broken down into a smaller common denominator. One of the biggest issues I see with moms is they’ll put something on their daily action plan, like work with the kids on doing their laundry or building a landing page, those are end results not actions.

What happens is that when you have something like that as an action on your daily action plan list for the day, it’s really overwhelming because it’s not clear. And so it’s just telling you the end result, it’s not giving you the action. So kind of watch out in that green area for things that are not necessarily actions, but end results, and start to break them down.

Yellow Light – The Stuff that Ain’t Yours to Do

The second light is your yellow light. Slow down, look, see what doesn’t belong to you. Yellow things are things that you can often delegate our outsource to your team. Now, the reason why moms and I love you, as I say, this have an issue with delegating or outsourcing is because they’re not even really clear on what needs to be done.

Because you’re in a perpetual state of just doing things and not really taking into an account what needs to be done, everything is just kind of all over the place. When it comes to delegating our outsourcing to somebody, you freak smooth the f out because nobody can do it like you.  If you delegate a task  you, micromanage the hell outta it, and you don’t allow your family or team to show up and be as effective as they can be. This is why day one is really important because when you know what’s going on, then you really know what you can begin to let go of and how you can begin to put some of pieces together.

This is also the importance of working with me because I am able to take my clients and allow them to see what can be delegated, helping them to break it down.  Having a coach to guide you through the process, especially if you’re hella overwhelmed is necessity. It’s a necessity because doing it on your own will just cause you more overwhelmed ma and that’s not what you want. And that’s why you’re stuck in, in why you can’t give away those, you all items, items that don’t belong to you, items that need to be delegated to a family member or a team member. 

And so working with a coach and setting yourself up with a  free strategy session with me is really going to allow you to see and have clarity on those yellow items. Cuz some of the things on your daily action plan are items that you, you needed help for. That doesn’t belong to you. Begin to get clear on what these yellow items are that don’t belong to you or that you need to outsource create the space and the system for them and delegate that. Girl, get rid of it. 

Red Light – The Stuff That Actually Needs to be Done

Now we move to the red items. The red items are things that actually do need to be done by you.

They’re actually time sensitive things. And if you don’t do them, then it will negatively impact your life in a particular way. You tend to take the green and the yellow and make it all urgent. Everything has to get done. Now everything needs to be done by me. It all has to happen now. And so what ends up happening is that you create this day where there is not even room for Jesus. And it’s packed of stuff and it never goes as planned because a day that is packed without space will never go as planned.  What ends up happening is that you burn out at some point during the day, and your brain, will go through what I call slow down and breathe distractions where you can’t seem to focus on what you wanna focus on.

The Final Steps to Keep You Out of Overwhelm

Everything is not urgent and important at the same time. Everything is not even urgent.  Everything is not meant to be done by you. The red items are those things, when you have clarity about your end game. 

There are only gonna be three major things that you need to do each day that are red. These are your non-negotiable items. These are things that need to be done to move you closer to what ever your goal is. Your daily action plan each day, honest to godly have no more than eight things on it.

If you wanna be serious, more like five, here’s why. And I’m gonna take you off on a short tangent, and Right now I know you’re thinking, “oh my God, she’s saying that my, my daily action plan should only have five things on it, is she nuts?” I want you to think about what really gets done on a 20 piece to-do list. What are you actually slaying? Are you slaying things that are taking you closer to your goals or are you just slaying all that green ish? That’s just kind of random stuff that you can go back to later, but at least you check something off, and you know, at least you were “productive” with something, and  you’ll get to those other more pressing items later. How does that really work out for you? So when I say create a list of no more than eight things, three of those being your red items, things that absolutely need to be done, that causes you to narrow in and have more focus. 


So that’s that stoplight system.

  • Green things that would be good to do, not urgent or important.
  • Yellow things that can be delegated. 
  • Red things actually the ish you need to do 

So let’s keep this convo going. What is one thing that you can take off of your to-do list today? That’s either a green item or a yellow item that does not belong to you or is, or is not something that’s taking you closer to your goals. It’s just something that’s great to do. I would love to hear, I wanna hear what you are removing. Not what you’re adding on less is more. What are you removing from your list today? I’m here and I’m listening. I’m here to support you towards your next best moves.

Now remember if you wanna see more content like this, be sure to add a thumbs up to this video and subscribe to the channel. Now I know you need more support to get your life together. This is why I have my unload overwhelmed strategy sessions. These sessions are 45 minutes of juiciness that are gonna help you to create clarity around your life. 

Go to workwithcharmaine.me. Overwhelm cure video, and there will be a link underneath the video to book your free strategy session. 

Well, girl, it’s time to take action, time to get some off that list that don’t even belong to you. You can sit and watch my channel all day long, or you can begin to take the action that you know will get you closer to the life that you desire and deserve to have. I’m gonna bounce and let you get into action. I’ll talk to you later, girl. Bye. 


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