Hey ladies, what’s up? It’s me, Charmaine, and today we are talking about the life balance challenge and creating that balance in our life that feels good. Now let me start off with this disclaimer.
First of all, a lot of the times the definition that comes along with balance in life tends to be one of all things equal. So I want to dispel this because a lot of coaches and speakers go, Oh my gosh, you shouldn’t be going for balance. Balance is too hard or there is no such thing as life balance because everything can’t be done the exact same at the exact same time. And that’s true.
It’s the definition of balance that I believe they have misconstrued or the perception of it. Their perception of it is different than what I have. So for me, life balance does not mean all things equal.
Life balance means that you have the stability in your life areas to support your life. It doesn’t mean all things equal, your life is not a set of tires. To expect that type of balance from your life is a bit cray cray. This is why people are like, “Oh my God, I can’t do balance, balance is so hard”.
But yet then they try to do, I’m gonna do harmony and integration, but they still attempt to do harmony integration like they approached balance. So it’s just that your perception of how your life needs to show up is what needs to really shift. So when I talk about balance, you can interchange it with harmony.
What is Life Balance
I call it balance because life balance is about making sure that each area of your life is in a space of strength and stability so that it can be supportive, not about perfection. How do you navigate life and make creating balance in your life not a challenge?
The first is to get rid of perfection. – Get rid of feeling like everything has to be the same. I heard this from, I think Tony Robbins, where this little girl goes to her dad and he asks her, “What makes you think a desk is perfect? What does that perfection to you?”
And I think a little girl says something like, well, when all of the papers look like this, my desk is perfect. So the dad says, well, if you move this paper then is the desk no longer perfect?, and she goes, yeah.
A lot of us have that concept of perfection that everything has to look a certain way. Everything has to be a certain way in order for it to be perfect. And so we’re striving for this piece of perfection that doesn’t really exist.
You are perfect as you are. You are worthy. You are enough. Everything that you’re doing right now in this Holy instant is where you’re supposed to be. The idea that something in you is broken or wrong or that this balance thing is so hard throws you into a further spiral. So dropping your perception of perfection and not looking at it from a space of lack but looking at it from a space of enoughness.
Yes, I might not be doing things the way that I want them to look or how I want it to be done. How can I change that? How can I shift that? Again, asking yourself those quality questions that are going to allow you to create and to be more in a positive space versus always beating yourself up.
The second thing I want you to take note of is not doing spiritual bypassing – so that is if something is going crappy in your life, you don’t deal with the the ick. You go, Oh my God, I’m supposed to be positive, so I’m not going to deal with why I feel this way. I’m just going to bypass that and to be positive.
That causes more trouble and problems in the long run than anything. Being willing to look at the why maybe you’re in a particular space, why you’re feeling a particular way. Everything in your life is geared towards feeling a particular way. When you are basing your life and your day based off on how you want to feel, and these are high quality feelings.
And so asking yourself:
- How do I want my life to feel?
- How do I want my day to feel?
- What does it feel like when it’s the best day ever for me?
- How does that feel?
- How can I reproduce that?
- What other things am I already doing that I’m not noticing that can give me that feeling?
When you operate from that space first feeling first, then what do I want and why do I want it? Those pillars, knowing how you want to feel is vital.
If you’re stuffing your feelings down, for whatever reason, whether it’s, you don’t want to deal with it or you think you just all the time have to be positive, whatever it is, it’s going to cause you more harm than good. Being positive doesn’t mean that you’re never, you never have a negative thought.
Do You Know What You Want?
Knowing what you want, knowing what that looks like and having a clear vision for where you’re going, it’s going to be vital to keeping your life areas together.
- What do you want your family life to look like?
- What do you want your finances to look like?
- What do you want your marriage to look like?
- What do you want your health to look like?
- What do you want your business to look like?
- What do you want your spiritual, mental, physical health, to look like?
What is that clear vision you have for your life? Remember, if you can see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand. Meaning that we create the life that we see in front of us with our thoughts and how clearly they are. If you’ve ever noticed a negative thought and you’ve seen it clearly, you can see the destruction clear as day in your mind.
You cannot create stability, aka balance in your life areas if you don’t know what you want out of them. You can’t create this balance if you don’t know how you want to feel because you’re going to be going back and forth in between whatever anybody else wants.In order to create this balance, in order to create this stability, you’ve got to know what’s your life areas are doing, how they’re performing, what they look like.
It’s going to take time and work and consistent action to get to where you want to be. So being gentle with yourself.
When you write down a goal, why do I want this goal? Is it going to help me to achieve that foundational feeling? Ask yourself these questions, when you set goals.
- Why do I want this?
- How is this going to relate to how I say I want to feel?
- How is this benefiting me and my larger goal?
Learning how to take pauses when people ask you questions to do things to go places. Because I know for me, my knee jerk reaction tends to be, Oh, I need to make a decision now when an actuality you really don’t. And taking the space to see if certain decisions that even you’re making throughout your day are they supporting what you say you really want. And that’s going to cause you to look at your paradigm, your belief system, your mindset, whatever you want to call it. So when it calls you to look at how you’re approaching life and you’re approaching things and that maybe some of the decisions you’re making throughout the day are not supporting that and how you can shift it.
The Wrap Up
So this, this quick video was to give you some, some tools to start creating balance. Remember this is a process. I have been doing this process for at least 10 years at least, and each day I’m learning, I’m always working on it. It is never complete, it’s always ever evolving. But what keeps me on the path is that I’m very clear about what it is I want to create andI have the support to make sure that I’m staying on that path.
And as you grow, as things shift, as you get the new job, as your business blows up, those numbers are going to change. Like your financial area can be in an eight or nine or even a 10, but then your sales for a particular month maybe go down. And it’s not to say that it’s not that you’re not managing your money properly, but it changes the aspect of how things flow. So then it might go down to a seven. Now you have to think of a different way to approach things that at one space you were able to approach it this way.
These numbers are going to be ever evolving and changing and you have to have the grace and understand that they will shift and that’s okay.
So if you’re ready to create true balance that isn’t perfect, that is imperfectly perfect where you are embracing and loving the imperfection of who you are and how you show up and having that work. Be sure to schedule a call with me for a Get Yo’ Life strategy call. The details are in the comment section below and we’ll take 30 minutes to sit and look at those areas helping you to create some form of baseline.
And remembering, you know, and here’s a couple of things about working with me and I want you to be clear about, I’m not quick, this is not going to be a quick fix. It’s going to be something that you’re going to have to be consistent at, you’re going to have to be persistent at and that you’re going to have to constantly engage in.
This is about engaging fully in your life and not just, Oh, add water, stir. It’s all good. It’s all done. So if you’re ready to stop coming from that space in your life and you’re ready to really create the breadth and the empowerment that you want to feel about your life and your day, click that link below and get yourself enrolled or not enrolled, but get yourself signed up for free.
Get your life strategy call and let’s look at those baselines and let’s begin to create that space in your life that you really want. You want to create change that no matter what goes on in your life, you can bounce back. So thanks so much. I really enjoy talking to you ladies today. If you have any questions, comments, a-ha’s, or I don’t think so’s, pop them in the comments below. You ain’t gotta agree with me, I’m cool with that.
Let me know what hits you most out of today’s video. And I would love to interact with you and just get to know a lot of you all a little bit better. But thanks again for joining. Remember, love yourself, love your family, love your business and that order. And I will catch you next time. Bye